Thursday, September 25, 2008

Fuck Everything!!!

I remember when I was a kid I would go to my cousins house or my cousins would come to my hose every day (this is when we weren’t simply living together) and every morning my mom would call up my aunt and say "Alex in a ninja turtle today" or maybe robin hood, or an Indian, or a super hero, it was different every day, then we would hop in the car and drive over there (or they would come over here) and Reid and Chris would all ready be all decked out with blankets for capes or mixing bowl army helmets, by the time we made eye contact we were already being chased by aliens.
Real life sucks ass!!!

Just call me sensei.

I know it's a little weird but I’ve been thinking lately about writing a math curriculum, yeah really.
Imagine a math class that only happens twice a week and it works like this.

Class 1: you come into class, the teacher takes care of all of the preliminaries, names, course schedule, etc. then he hands you a piece of paper and you leave.

Homework 1: On the piece of paper is a complicated real world applied math problem that to solve requires all of the concepts and equations that need to be learned in the first week, at the bottom of the page there is a list of resources where you could find the information you need to answer the problem and a notice that tells you that there will be a optional class taking place in three days if you need extra assistance. The assignment is to solve the problem showing all of your work, not all of your notes and scratch paper, a neatly re-written representation of what steps you took to solve the equation. Then you turn it in at your next class.

Class 2: You come into class and turn in your solved equation, of you don’t have it the teacher the teacher gives you the homework and you leave, then half a letter grade (5%) is removed for every day that it is late. For those who did turn it in, the rest of class is used in explaining the solution, fielding questions and discussing the application. Then you are given your piece of paper with the homework and you leave.

Homework 2-end: On the paper is another real world applied math problem that to solve requires researching new mathematical principals in addition to applying concepts learned in previous weeks
Semester End: Up to this point all of your solutions have been graded taking into account the process, the answer, how easy or hard it is to understand your process, and your understanding of the application. In the end all of your scores are averaged and that is your final score.

In this system you never hear “How are we ever going to use this”, you get to experience a little taste of different math/science fields and the information is cemented in your brain better because of the research aspect. I would love learning like this.

SUPER MEGA ULTRA AWSOME GUNDAM RANGERS vs. MECHA TURDUCKEN ep.1

Back by popular demand... realy

Episode: One, The beginning of the end.

We begin our story in a small costal town in Vermont, everyone is out and about at work or school when suddenly, OH NO, SUPER MEGA ULTRA AWSOME GUNDAM RANGERS, HURRY, THE CITY (town) NEEDS YOUR HELP, THERE'S A GIANT RAMPAGEING MONSTER WREAKING HAVOC AGAIN!!! (which makes no sense at all because this is a small insignificant town in a state that people often forget exist), SAVE US!!!
So the Super Mega Ultra Awesome Gundam Rangers put on there power suits, (by the way, why are the power suits made of spandex that's so tight that you can tell that the blue ranger is Jewish just by looking at him) jump into their Super Mega Ultra Awesome Gundam Ranger Megazords and dash into town to fight the giant evil robot (at which time sky scrapers magically appear all over town for the sole purpose of looking cool being knocked down during the battle).
The Super Mega Ultra Awesome Gundam Rangers arrive on the scene, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!" "It's a giant mechanical turkey." "So... do we just kill it or what?" "What do you mean?" "It's just a freaking turkey." Then suddenly *(ZAP!!!) a giant death ray comes out of the turkeys mouth (BOOM!!! then all of the rangers throw themselves backwards as if they were blown up even though the explosion was twenty feet in front of them and composed completely of colored sparks)
"OH NO!!! Jimmy!!!" "Jimmy are you all right?" "I think I’ll be okay, but i cant move, you must save the city!" "Okay Jimmy, we're on it." "And guys" "Yeah?" "Please... Beat the $#!% out of that mother @&=#~$ for me will ya?" "For you Jimmy, and your sacrifice" "MEGAZORD POWERS, ACTIVATE!!!" (Then over the next minute and a half all of the megazords connect into this huge superzord while the monster sits there and DOES NOTHING!!!)
"Ha! we'll get you this time you, you turkey you" "Super Mega Ultra Awesome Gundam Ranger gun, activate" (Then the ultrazord magically pulls a massive bazooka out of its @$$ ) "Come on everybody, super gun power activate, FIRE!!!" (Then the monster just stands there for thirty seconds while the rangers lock on, charge up and fire.
"Yeah, direct hit!" "We got it!"
Then it happened, the smoking turkey stood there when suddenly it split open and out came... A CHICKEN!!!
"Everyone look, it wasn't a turkey it was a... churky." "A churkey?" "You know, half chicken, half turkey." "Wouldn’t is be a tricken or something like th... Hey look at that."
Suddenly the chickens eyes began to glow red, then it violently blew open and out jumped... A CRAZED SABER TOOTHED DUCK!!!
Oh my God, it's not a churky or a tricken, all of my worst fears have now been realized in this hour of truth, that is, THE MECHA TURDUCKEN!!! EVERYBODY RUN!!!"

But he was to late, with a single rumbling QUACK, the entire state crumbled to dust, the era of the turducken has come, the end is near.

To be continued...

Start playing games with my head Episode: 2

I've played a lot of video games in my time, some are satisfying and some just aren't, so I’m trying to think from a developers point of view to try to find out what makes one of those really satisfying games so good. I will touch on this subject several more times in the future but today I’m going to look at personal player physics.
I can't stand a game with bad jump and fall dynamics, I’m sorry but the days of super jumps and double jumps are over, it was fun while it lasted. You may be thinking "what's the fun in having a four foot maximum jump height", but that's not what I had in mind at all, it would just be great if these rules applied.

A = 9.81 m/sec^2

Df = Do + Vo T + 1/2 A T^2

Vf = Vo + A T

Vf^2 - Vo^2 = 2A Df

I never said that Vo (Initial velocity) had to be realistic.
Imagine your character pushing off of the ground at an initial speed of 251mph turning the ground below him into a crater as he flies into the air along with his enemy, battling all the way up. Then, a full twelve seconds later you and your adversary land softly at the tip of a 2250ft tall building overlooking the carnage of what was your home town. You fight atop the building performing amazing acrobatic feats that would totally work I real life if you had limitless strength. Finally your adversary knocks you off of the building then jumps after you, you two battle during the decent until the screen starts shaking as you approach terminal velocity, you land on your feet and the pavement shatters beneath you and you are suddenly lost in a cloud of dust and debris. You throw up your sward arm just in time for your enemies landing, when the dust settles you find him impaled not only on your sward but on your arm, his corpse now resting around our elbow. Yeah Sweet!!!
As a rule, I think that sub consciously, man is more drawn to hyperrealism than surrealism, to the guy who defies gravity rather than the guy who simply lives with less of it. That's why Final Fantasy VII Advent Children was so much cooler than Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

The Handwriting on the Wall

The final words of a graphite death camp prisoner.

I believe my time is coming, all of the forward detainees have already been transferred, to where, I’m can't be sure, but nothing can be worse than this wooden prison, opressing body and mind. I’m not sure, but I don’t think all of my fellow prisoners are going to the same place, most of them seem to going to similar rectangular white cells, you start to get a little loopy when your time is coming, so I assume that what I saw was the psychiatric wing, I can't be sure, I only got a glimpse. Every once in a while they transfer large groups at one time, first they’re there, then there suddenly gone with a deafening snap, never to be seen again. When this happens they bring in a machine they call “The Sharpener”, they tell us that the machine makes us sharper, stronger, and better as a whole, but I know the truth, it’s a death machine, the grinding, the snapping, I know what it is. Even worse than all of this, worse than the constant fear of the unknown, worse than endless wondering of what will be your end when you reach the point of no return, worse than any of this, is the executioners constant smirking glare. He sits there all day and night, his grinning pink face smeared with the filth of his last execution, we all know he can‘t get us as long as we‘re in here, but for some reason, that doesn’t make it any better. The wooden prison of Ticonderoga, we have no names, just a number, #2, they say they need us for tests, it seems that they’re simply testing how long it takes for our wills to break. It doesn't take long.

The end has come, the sharpener is calling for me, but stand strong my brothers and do not break, for if you do, your words will never be heard.

This is the happy thought that helps me fly

I have seen every Peter Pan movie known to man, Hook, Disney’s Peter Pan, Disney’s crappy sequel, Finding Neverland, etc. but there is one thing I haven’t seen in any of those movies, you know it’s there, you just never see it.
Where is that old man that Captain Hook pays to sit in the corner an repeat “I don’t believe in fairies, I don’t believe in fairies, I don’t believe in fairies” over and over again all day on the off chance that one of those times Tinkerbell will fall over dead.
I can totally see it playing out in my mind. Captain Hook is all like, “Arrrrr, come down here and fight like a man Peter Pan!”, then Peter Pan is all like “You’ll never catch me Hook, HA HA HA, come on Tink, let’s get him…Tink?… TINK!!!” then Peter and Wendy lose there flying magic and fall forty feet to the deck of the pirate ship and die on impact. That’s my kind of Peter Pan movie.
Believe it or not I used to like Peter Pan, I think Michael Jackson ruined it for me.

Start playing games with my head Episode: 1

Read: "Start playing games with my head Episode: 0" first

I was thinking, I wonder how it would work out if the standard polygonal object system was replaced with a building block/ adhesive system.
Example:
Imagine a large block of cement, this block has been rendered using a building block/ adhesive system. You drop the block off of the back of a truck, it breaks into several smaller blocks with random shatter patterns. One of those smaller blocks is thrown against a wall and it breaks into even smaller pieces. You hit one of those blocks with a sledge hammer and it crumbles into dust and rubble.
The first break was created by a relatively low kinetic energy collision, then the energy of the collisions increased until the block became dust. This is because the groupings were held together with a stronger and stronger adhesive effect as the groups became smaller. This system could be used in several different applications, like with wood it would be programmed to fall apart in a splintering pattern rather than a crumbling pattern.
Like in real life the extent of the destruction would coincide with the amount of energy supplied to break the adhesive. This could also come in handy with the destruction of complete structures, in this system the destruction of important architectural supports on a structure would cause stress to the bonds of the structure in question and it would crumble to the ground.
Pliable bendable metals and plastics may be in issue, there would need to be some way to create a distinction between pliable and rigid adhesive bonds. Also I don’t know how it would effect texture mapping. It may not be possible to apply in a game situation in the near future because it may over tax the CPU.